'Cause I try and I try and I try and I try

Ok, where shall I start first? with the drawings or with the text? when thinking on this blog I would like to try no to think too much about what I will be writing, or what I will be drawing; it is more a thing of the moment. With the drawings I sit by my desk and just start with the first idea that comes to my mind, with the texts I try that it works the same way, although during the day I think that this or that could be interesting to write about; but I prefer to just sit and see what comes. 

Maybe the drawings  now then: 3 inspired by the subway (I like so much observing people! it is almost better than the movies) and two by the clutter in my desk. One of the subways I tore, but then decided to rescue a part of it. 

 

  

  

  

 

 I am never satisfied with what I draw, A. says that I am a perfectionist, and that it happens not only with the drawings but when I cook I am never 100% satisfied with the results, I always think, ok. a bit of that or less of this would have been better. I know I should relax about it and start being nicer to myself; I guess I should go to therapy to see why and what to do with this feeling of unsatisfaction. I normally focus on the things that could be changed or improved (in my drawings, my cooking, my body, my life) instead of focusing on the good things I already have. When I have a rare moment of enlightment and I realize how many good things I have around me, I can breathe deeply and feel blessed; but these moments are not the daily routine; although I must say that since I came to Germany I have been having them a bit more often, maybe because here I missed things I took for granted. 

More tomorrow, tonight I am tired, we´ll sit with A. to see a movie, maybe drink a glass of wine, listen to the comforting snores of my beloved dog and be happy about the weekend. Have a nice weekend everyone.